What is “healthy kid”????
The White House’s Twitter account wants YOUR help! What kind of video game should America make that will help all of its beautiful children not be horribly obese anymore?! The Ugly Swallow is a good citizen so its mystically ran Twitter account heard the call.
Step 1 is motivation.
Assistant masturbater and now ex-congressman Eric Massa went on Glenn Beck’s absurd teabag hour yesterday to talk about his recent revelation that the Democratic leadership was trying to give him the wrong kind of reach around and that they forced him out of office. I think Glenn was brimming with teabag anticipation juice (sperm) over Massa coming on the show because of something about “finally exposing these horrible gay liberals’ corrupt ways.” I can tell this because Glenn Beck has a Twitter! (more…)
So this has been a pretty peculiar thing going on with Rep. Eric Massa of New York, a crazy single payer health care guy, and a no vote for the current bill. A few days ago he said he was going to be quitting Congress because his cancer was coming back and because of an ongoing a Ethics investigation about him sexually assaulting a male staff member. Why doesn’t Congress just come out of the closet already? (more…)
After getting busted for a DUI on his way home from a gay nightclub while banging a dude having a dude in the passenger seat that he was then going to bang, California state congressman Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield) has officially come out of the closet.
winning quote:
“I think it’s sad more than hypocritical,” Lopez said. “We’re not in Roy’s head. We don’t know what is he thinking. We hope he comes to terms with whatever is making him make a choice to be a gay man.”
Probably Satan. We hope he comes to terms with Gay Satan.
Now, I know this title is confusing because it actually applies to half of all the things Sarah Palin has done in her life. (Can you guess what the other half consists of??) At an Ohio pro-life fundraiser she defended herself for writing notes on her hand like a elementary school student by quoting a letter she received from a fan. The letter contained a passage from the bible that says, “Hey, Sarah, it’s OK cause God did this thing too.” (more…)
Hollywood: The Oscars happened last night. Biggest loser was Avatar. HAH. Eat it James Cameron!
More about the Oscars: These people on ChatRoulette were not watching the Oscars last night.
Animals in space: Why doesn’t the government want us knowing about these gorillas on Mars?!
They’re rioting in the streets: Greeks are really pissed about this whole debt thing.
Hockey: The NHL may not allow its players to participate in the 2014 Sochi games.
Getting in other people’s business: Turkey is pissed after the House Foreign Affairs Committee ruling that the 1915 Armenian killings were genocide.
We are dumb: A look at the increasing effect of placebos.
What a twist: Since the election of playboy Scott Brown, we are closer than ever to having health care reform passed as opposed to complete Democrat capitulation.
Ehhh, was a toss up between Dorito iPad funnytime and Tim Heidecker standup…
Don’t try too hard
UPDATE: gets me everytime
Look at this fucking tree house.
