Whoa man, something that was promised to get done, like, forever ago is finally getting done. Yesterday, the House and Senate Armed Services Committee passed measures that would be attached to some military spending bill to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. And it only took this long to get it done. Awe inducing. Something that could hardly be considered a dent in the fight for equal rights — “Yeah, is it cool if you let us sign up for the military and serve openly and die for you idiots? No? Alright, cool.” — had to be fought for tooth and nail. I think there are still people hunger striking somewhere? Not saying that’s not a little dumb, but you get the idea. (more…)
On 05.28.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
On 05.27.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Why didn’t anyone tell Rand Paul that running as a far right lunatic wouldn’t be as easy as everyone made it out to be!? What was that whole saying? “Promise to repeal health care for 32 million people and denounce the President as a Kenyan born, radical Islamic cleric and win”? Something like that. So you’d think Rand Paul would be having a dandy of a time while strolling to an easy victory. But he’s running into complications! (more…)
On 05.26.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Isn’t America a funny place? A place where the politicians are encouraged to not inform voters of their true beliefs and ideologies. This is just all bad/Ya can’t do it! You must obscure your real opinions behind a thick haze of absurd word-garbage. Here’s a perfect example of this phenomenon: Rand Paul’s Tragedy Tour 2010.
After spending a week doing interviews and revealing what he really feels, in his heart of hearts, on a range of matters including the Civil Rights Act (segregation in private businesses is cool), American’s with Disabilities Act (just put all the wheelchair people in a corner office on the first floor), and the oil spill in the Gulf (BP is doing a heckuva job), the Republican overlords have swooped in and asked what the fuck he thought he was doing. (more…)
On 05.25.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
John McCain is so mean! Look at him straight call J.D. Hayworth, the slightly crazier version of John McCain, an idiot in this ad that might or might not be on television in Arizona.
Yeah that is pretty stupid. I’ll give you this one. Why can’t you just not be stupid for a little while longer, J.D. Hayworth, and provide all of us with the funniest story of the decade: John McCain loses primary to batshit wingnut radio host.
[TPM]
On 05.21.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Recent politics sensation and new face of How To Not Run An Effective Campaign, Rand Paul, continues to say regrettable things on television! Perhaps thinking that he hadn’t done enough damage already on Rachel Maddow’s show, Rand stopped by George Stephanopoulos’ Good Morning America television set of liberalism and traps for an interview. The topic today was “Why is Barack Obama so mean to oil companies who are responsible for the biggest ecological disaster in American history?” (more…)
On 05.21.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
After weeks of accepting lots of worthless, symbolic amendments under the guise of populism, but also some good amendments that impose actual mechanisms of regulation, the Senate has passed a financial regulatory reform bill! (Just look at all these gosh danged amendments) This is of course a miracle, obviously, because we shouldn’t expect the US Senate to take up bills that regulate the most profitable, economy-wide-risk-imposing industry in existence. How unlike them to not accept unlimited funds from these monocle clad mega earners and just plain pander to their best interests. Well, that’s kind of wrong because they’re most definitely still accepting large sums of money from them, but it’s almost like the Senators are in charge now! (more…)
On 05.20.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Bob Bartnet officially not running for insane write-in reelection.
[NYT]
On 05.20.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Permanently unenthusiastic old man/majority leader, Harry Reid, went and filed for cloture on that financial regulatory reform bill, The What’s The Big Idea, Wall St? Act of 2010 and it passed! Two Democrats voted against the measure, Maria Cantwell and Russ Feingold, after stating concerns that the bill still did not go far enough to prevent future financial apocalypsi. The other 57 Democrats plus 3 Republicans did not see it as such and/or knew this would hold another off till well after they were dead.
Once again, Scott Brown has made wingnuts across the country very sad. No one really gives a shit about Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe cause they’ve been a couple lesbian hippies forever now. But SCOTT “LOOK AT ALL THESE PUBES” BROWN?! Always siding with the wrong people! What about the concerned folks all over the country that flooded your campaign with money + friend requests on Facebook?! Why aren’t you representing all of them, the people outside of the state that you were elected to solely represent!?
RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO RINO, for hilarious obligatory reasons.
[Politico]
On 05.19.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Soon to be former Senator from Utah, Bob Bennett, who was swiftly and without mercy removed from consideration to be the Republican candidate in this years election because he was such a fucking hippy AKA still one of the most scary conservative people in the United States Senate, is now considering a shot at reelection via write-in, cause he wants his seat back GODDAMNIT! (more…)
On 05.19.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Arkansas: Walking neck and haircut, Blanche Lincoln, came out ahead of Bill Halter but not enough to clinch the nomination. Being as no candidate got more than 50% of the vote there’ll be a runoff. She just gave a speech talking about how thankful she is for edging out a minuscule plurality and is now “back in it” which is of course retarded bullshit. She was expected to win and not just that but to win with over 50% of the vote and avoid a runoff. Blanche for prez!
Pennsylvania: Arlen Specter LOST. Then Joe Sestak took the stage and said a bunch of really stupid shit and made himself sound like Howard Dean. There was also a full blown, super-important, THIS IS WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN IN NOVEMBER DEFINITELY FOR SURE special election between Tim Burns and Mark Critz to fill the now dead Jack Murtha’s House seat. Mark Critz won which means that Democrats will control every seat in the House and have a 63 seat super majority after this election probably.
Kentucky: Jack Conway beat Daniel Mongiardo by a wee bit. All those Paultards brought it home hard for Rand Paul. He won by something like 30%, effectively decimating Trey Grayson. Since it’s rare you see someone with the name Trey, I’d like to pretend that Rand Paul was up against esteemed hip hop artist Trey Songz and that Kentucky was not so much looking for a candidate that would literally date rape all the women in their state.
Oregon: I don’t think anything important happened here. I don’t know. I fell asleep with MSNBC on and all my Chris Matthews voice-over’d dream characters didn’t say a darn thing about Oregon. The person who has the most marijuana paraphernalia pierced to their face will win.