Indiana congressman Mark Souder has been porking a woman he is not married to. I realize it’d be fine to just stop there, with all the sexing scandals these fat slobs conduct with their female (and male) staff members, but the “traditional family values” ones are always TOO fun. He announced earlier that he is retiring and will not be seeking reelection this year even though he’s already clinched the Republican nomination in Indiana’s 3rd district. (more…)
On 05.18.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
On 05.18.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Richard Blumenthal, the once expected replacement for super unpopular Countrywide scandal thing senator, Chris Dodd, is probably going to get his ass straight replaced by the Democratic Party, and maybe get in a lot of shit at his current job as the Connecticut Attorney General. Why? Because parading around telling baby boomers he served in Vietnam is like one of his favorite things to do. Which is odd because he didn’t actually serve in Vietnam! (more…)
On 05.13.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
John Kerry and Joe Lieberman pulled off their black blanket of secrecy from their highly anticipated to fail climate and energy bill yesterday. It’s called the American Power Act, because they were struggling to come up with a worse name, and because Joe Lieberman loves showing off all the patriotism flowing endlessly out of his gaping anus and mouth.
It seems like a good thing! Like it could potentially keep the southeast United States from turning into a tropical disease breeding jungle and prevent New York from becoming some cool underwater Atlantis-like ruins. Yes, and all those other heat related, human race destroying calamities. Though, like most things that could do more than an ounce of good in the long run, it will most likely be shot down because of “a lack of bipartisanship”. AKA, now that the Gulf of Mexico is literally ruined forever all these old Senators won’t be able to pander to offshore drilling interests like they want to. Such is the world! (more…)
On 05.12.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Uh-oh Uh-oh, Bradley Byrne better go into crisis management mode! There’s literally no way he can win the Governorship of Alabama with ads like this floatin’ around hyperspace and TV airwave land. Bradley Byrne thinks science should be taught in schools?! That only parts of the bible are true, and that all 100% of it isn’t factual and the definitive story of how and what the universe is?! Sounds like a sneaky, dirty socialist to me. Bury him up to his neck and throw rocks at him!
On 05.11.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
So whatever happened to that Financial Regulatory Reform bill that was and still is super popular? Since Democrats broke that silly filibuster there’s just been mad debatin’ goin’ on. They’ve considered literally TENS upon TENS of amendments. The Senate is the slowest and most horrible fucking thing ever.
They might finally be about finished though, but probably not. John McCain’s build a giant fence and guard tower around the Federal Reserve so he can sit up there and shoot Mexicans all day amendment failed. As did Ron Paul’s abolish the Fed and revert back to the gold standard amendment — which is surprising, figured that one would pass.
Yeah, so there’s been a lot of them. (mainly an excuse of me forgetting and being too lazy to check or unable to locate them if I did check. YOU DECIDE.) But on a note that could be considered either good or bad, a NEW-AND-IMPROVED Audit the Fed amendment did pass today which means the Federal Reserve will be sort of audited one time just to see where some of that TARP World Emergency money went. It passed 96-0. Everyone is happy.
Talk to you again in 4 weeks when the football is another yard closer to a touchdown, or something.
[NYT]
On 05.11.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Michael Steele, a black guy, would like to know why Elena Kagan agrees with an old statement by former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall in which he says that the original Constitution was defective. This is obviously because the Constitution is so dear to him, and the words printed on it, by the most righteous slaveowners ever in existence, should be treated as sacred, and to question them is sinful. Especially for a Supreme Court nominee. So what did you say, Thurgood Marshall, that has Michael Steele so upset that someone would even agree with you? (more…)
On 05.11.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
I love this ad! Talk about effective! You just load the thing up with some fear trigger words and the only three living liberals that the right can recognize! A lever for more economy saving measures, err, bailouts? (that didn’t necessarily have more to do with Democrats than Republicans!) Flip it! More taxes? Oh my, yes, ACTIVATE. I am now terrified and pooping my pants all over the place.
And how dare Nancy Pelosi knowingly defy my, The American Voter’s, will?! By her getting things done that she promised to do before I voted to elect her party to a majority in a democratic manner. Grrr.
[via TPM]
On 05.10.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
New, ex-Maverick, John McCain is so much funnier than the old John McCain, who was at times semi-reasonable. But this new guy — PHEW/whoa, someone get him on a stage! Here’s the latest ad in John McCain’s ongoing quest to be seen as the most conservative, fringe-dwelling, maniac in existence. You know, for reelection purposes. Etc. (more…)
On 05.10.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
I’ll tell you who did not Win The Morning today. Barack Obama, that’s who. He was a whole day late on deciding his own Supreme Court nominee! You win this round, NBC and various other news sources. However, he did make it “official” this morning that he had picked Solicitor General Elena Kagan to be John Paul Stevens’ successor. I know, I’m just as appalled as you. Another woman. Why is Obama gay for female Supreme Court justices? (more…)
On 05.06.10, In Politics, By Matt Markezich
Over there, ACROSS THE POND, in England, it is election day. Voters will go to their respective polling locations, drunk, and smash a beer bottle over a wooden cutout of the party they’re voting for’s respective PM. Then they will continue drinking.
It’s expected that David Cameron will become the new Queen and his Loyal to the Crown Tories will gain a plurality in parliament over Gordon Brown and his Labour Party and the Barack Obama of Britain, Nick Clegg, who leads the Liberal Democrats. Then, nothing will get done because no party will have a majority. This is called a hung parliament. It also means that it has a very cumbersome package.
We think.