Oh look, POLITICO put together a comprehensive agenda that the GOP would like to accomplish if they win back the House this November. Finally, awesome! Now we can see all the great ideas Republicans have to turn the economy around, make health care more accessible and affordable, and literally ruin old people’s lives by taking away their Social Security. SPOILER ALERT: Nothing substantive is actually discussed in this article. All they want to do is issue subpoenas and investigate every trivial, microscopic non-issue of the Obama administration, and some things that already happen constantly amongst both parties, because it is politics. Grats America; all your problems will be swiftly taken care of starting January 2011. (more…)
On 08.27.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
On 08.26.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
On 08.26.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
A Republic! That’s the form of government we have, right here in America! Those of us that believe in this form of government — 11% or so, since last checking? — are commonly referred to as republicans (small r). But you know what people are also called republicans, but with a big-case R? Crass, ignorant degenerates like Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich, and also an entire half of modern American politics. That’s why The Swedish Republican Association, whose goal is to abolish the country’s monarchy, and which is made up of the country’s left-leaning parties, are considering a name change. (more…)
On 08.25.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
Is there a funnier, but also deeply saddening, group of people than self-defeating gay Republicans? No, there is not. We are reminded of this today by The Closet’s latest loss, Ken Mehlman, former George W. Bush campaign manager, RNC chairman, and self-hating opportunistic piece of trash.
Ken Mehlman, President Bush’s campaign manager in 2004 and a former chairman of the Republican National Committee, has told family and associates that he is gay.
Mehlman arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview. He agreed to answer a reporter’s questions, he said, because, now in private life, he wants to become an advocate for gay marriage and anticipated that questions would arise about his participation in a late-September fundraiser for the American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER), the group that supported the legal challenge to California’s ballot initiative against gay marriage, Proposition 8.
How brave of Ken Mehlman, that he wants to become an advocate for gay marriage now that he is no longer a public figure. Considering only 6 years ago he was in a very powerful position to maybe stop the door from completely shutting and letting Republicans/Karl Rove turn gay marriage into a “wedge issue” between them and Democrats by getting anti-gay initiatives and referendums on the general election ballots in 2004 and 2006. That way a bunch of vile, angry, homophobic, old, white people would come out to stop The Gays from taking over their country, and also check all the boxes next to the Republican sleezes on the ballot. (more…)
On 08.24.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
Last week, Ron Johnson, candidate for Russ Feingold’s senate seat, explained what the actual cause of our Earth slowly getting warmer and more dangerous/uninhabitable is: sunspots! I just wanted to highlight another awesome thing he said in that same interview.
“There’s a reason Greenland was called Greenland,” he said. “It was actually green at one point in time. And it’s been, since, it’s a whole lot whiter now.”
On 08.24.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
Today, the Obama Administration announced the winners of the remaining $3.4 billion dollar education funds from the Race to the Top program. New York was one of the winners, and Gov. Patterson was so elated that he had actually won something — maybe it’s the first time he’s ever won something! — that his brain had no idea what to do and just went into Sex/Rooster Mode, and commanded his mouth to start talking about cock. It’s been a long and hard battle for the cock, but New York has finally succeeded. Their education coffers will be engorged with money, for the children. Congratulations. (more…)
On 08.24.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
THIS JUST IN: That unconstitutional immigration law put into effect in Arizona is not even remotely a “Republican” thing, nor does it reflect the views of the Republican party, despite it being a product of the Republican party and trumped up and defended by prominent Republicans, nationwide, and their nativist base. This is according to our favorite national clown figure, Michael Steele. That’s some spin!™ (more…)
On 08.23.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
What’s up with our little terrorist colony, GITMO, anyway? Here’s Gretchen Carlson of Fox News wondering, rightfully, what the plan is for our terror-jail and the inmates that reside within, since President Obama did say at the beginning of his term that he would like to close it down. Let’s find out from these two exceedingly boring men and one insane person. (The insane person is Republican Gary Berntsen who is challenging incumbent Chuck Schumer this November.)
Oh, just shoot everyone with guns. And then just let their bodies fall into mass, unmarked, grave pits? I assume you would like to do that as well. We will arrange it.
On 08.23.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
Speaking of that Keeping America’s Future Muslim Free Rally that took place in New York this weekend, here’s a video of an area black man getting yelled at by a bunch of teabaggers because his blackness resembles that of Barack Obama/a muslin, probably. Let’s watch, together. (more…)
On 08.23.10, In Uncategorized, By Matt Markezich
- The NEW YORK CITY GOD BLESS 9/11 FREEDOM RALLY probably doesn’t even need mentioned because all of you were definitely at this non-disgraceful event in lower Manhattan, protestin’ up a storm. A Freedom Storm. [New York Daily News]
- Man, China. Being the only place on Earth experiencing economic growth at this point in time, China always gets to have the best and most extreme man made inconveniences. Like, right now, there is a 60 mile long, still-going-strong-after-nine-days traffic jam happening outside of Beijing because of construction. (Probably building an entire city and a world class passenger rail system, for fun.) [MSNBC] (more…)