The association has attracted some high-powered figures, including the minister for European affairs and leading members of several political parties. Most parties on the left include in their platform the establishment of a republic, but none pursue it actively. The leader of all parties in Parliament were invited to Victoria’s wedding; only Lars Ohly, 53, leader of the Left Party, formerly Sweden’s Communists, stayed away.

The members discussed a name change for the Republican association, as as not to be confused with the party of John McCain and Sarah Palin, Ms. Broshammar said.

Sarah Palin and John McCain: Our National Embarrassment™

It’s so nice to see John McCain (who, by the way, will be reelected with ease and be serving himself in the senate for another 6 years since he defeated infomercial television star and stand-up comic JD Hayworth in the Arizona Republican primary a few days ago) get included in this. Because he is such a hilarious old person.

[NYT]

Well, still Iraq, a little bit. (And don’t forget about Afghanistan, also!) We can’t just up and FULL ON leave Iraq. Although the last “combat troops” are leaving, like, right now — or maybe they’re flying Home already? — there will still be 50,000 other troops in Iraq. These 50,000 people have been reclassified as “trainers” you see, and will be teaching the Iraqi military how to take care of themselves/be a more effective tool for an armed coup once the parliamentary stalemate has festered to a point of no return. This slight change in the wording of our mission statement is called Operation New Dawn.

OK, OK, this is all kind of negative of me. Progress is progress. So who can we credit with this Good News? Hmmm…the guy that made this an important issue during his campaign to become president? The person who literally promised to get us out of Iraq? No. This is George W. Bush’s doing, according to one Wrinkly Buffoon.

John McCain would like to thank George W. Bush for leading our troops to victory in this heathen infested land. Just forget how pointless it was to be there or that it is almost exclusively the fault of the Bush administration that “Iraq” even happened. He did it, man. Great work. Victory! THANK YOU.

Also, John McCain’s definition of victory is simply the best and most gracious definition of victory one can imagine. Victory to John McCain means getting out of bed without breaking a hip, or not shitting his pants during one of his incredibly shameful floor speeches about whatever principle he has most recently abandoned, thanks to his IBS.

Fuck, how is John McCain ever upset with anything, ever, with this meaning of Victory guiding him? He is just constantly Winning!

[NYT/John McCain's Twitter]

It started when The Snooki appeared at a giant circle jerk called the MTV Movie Awards in which she said something along the lines of not being able to enhance her melanoma due to Barack Hussein Obama’s 10% socialism tax on tanning via beds. She said that John McCain would never have done something like this, because he is old and gross and pale, unlike Barack Obama who is a young black man. John McCain (actually, his hired Twitter aide) Twitter’ed @ snooki saying that she was right.

This was amusing to her.

Then, in an interview with John McCain’s daughter — probably a very important interview — Snooki said that John was “really cute” and that is what prompted her to vote for him. Isn’t this odd though? Barack Obama has some devilish good looks, wouldn’t you say? Especially in comparison to JOHN MCCAIN, A 73 YEAR OLD MAN.

Snooki: So when I saw it was Obama and McCain, to be honest with you, the only reason why I voted for your father was because he was really cute and I liked when he did his speeches.

Meghan: Well, thank you. [Laughing] I appreciate that, though it’s a little weird …

Which leads me to today, when John McCain, speaking on KLME radio in Phoenix, spoke of Snooki’s recent arrest for being a drunken slob.

“I kind of think she might be too good looking to go to jail,” McCain said on KMLE radio in Phoenix.

John McCain most certainly had an erection while saying this, as he thought back to the digital coitus the two had on Twitter a few months back. Does this not prompt one to ponder the goings on in John McCain’s home life?! HMMM? Perhaps Mrs. McCain is off getting gay married 24/7? Oh, and Snooki is definitely not “too good looking to go to jail.” In fact, she might be someone who is literally perfect for jail.

Snooki, whose real name is [REDACTED], was arrested last month for disorderly conduct after a tequila-fueled beach bender that ended with her getting hauled off in handcuffs while wearing a T-shirt that read “SLUT.”

“You can’t tell me what to do — I’m Snooki,” she yelled at the officers. “Do you know who I am? I’m fucking Snooki.”

McCain and Snooki do have a lot in common though. Like the part where she is yelling her own name? John McCain might have not ever done this, in public, per se, but he definitely wishes he had the courage to, instead of just disguising his pleas of “Do you know who I am — I’m fucking John McCain!” in long, rambling, hypocritical speeches on the Senate floor.

Snooki is such a free spirit, and John McCain WANTS that! Some day John McCain will break free of these bonds of public service and focus solely on himself. Something he has not been doing for the past 28 years.  The most important question to ask here though, besides what would sex between these two look like, is if this will help McCain lock up the disgusting grease jail-trash vote in his primary battle against JD Hayworth? My gut’s telling me maybe, but my waning interest in Snooki and John McCain is telling me to just end the post.

[New York Daily News via Daily Intel]

You know who else also hates Mexicans a lot right now, thanks to midterm election politics? John McCain! Weeeee 

In the final moments of a morning press conference about the stimulus, cohosted by Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK), McCain asked for one final question from reporters…which happened to be about the 14th amendment and birthright citizenship. McCain abruptly ended the press conference.

“We’re talking about the stimulus right now,” McCain said, before darting off to the elevators down the hall from the Senate studio, where he again declined to take a question. Reporters eventually caught up with McCain in the basement of the Capitol, where he was walking toward the man-operated train connecting the Senate with the Russell office building.

TPMDC asked, “Do you support the Minority Leader’s push for hearings into the repeal of birthright citizenship?”

“Sure, why not?” McCain said briefly.

“Do you support the idea itself?”

“I support the idea of having hearings,” McCain said.

“Do you have a problem with the 14th amendment?” another reporter asked.

“You’re changing the constitution of the Unite States,” McCain said. “I support the concept of holding hearings.”

“Let’s go!” he snapped.

“I don’t have anything to add to that.”

God, he is such a stand up guy. And such an unwavering independent voice, unlike those crass opportunists.

Oh wait, I’m thinking of that vicious raccoon that’s been lose in my neighborhood that animal control won’t take away, and euthanize.

But John McCain has a war to win! A war against former radio talkshow host and scam-company spokesperson JD Hayworth, who is the hardest Tea Partier in existence. So he has no problem right now with abandoning all prior convictions.

But the main reason that it’s so hilarious to watch John McCain scramble around, avoiding the press, while expressing interest in repealing the citizenship clause: John McCain’s campaign specifically cited it as to why he was eligible to run for President in 2008, since he was born outside of the United States, in the Panama Canal Zone.

Why does John McCain want to stop future McCain babies from being the President of the US?

Cause he has an election to win, goddamnit.

[Huffington Post/TPM/TPM]

Thanks to America’s Voice we can see, in visually appealing graph form, how it’s smart to just assume the opposite is true every time one of these people says something.

So violent crime, including beheadings, Meixcan on American hate crimes, and abductions are actually down quite a bit since 2002. Only one of the areas tracked on this graph is up in violent crime. Maricopa County under this Sheriff Arpaio. He is probably one of John McCain’s best friends. Do him and John McCain regularly get drunk and go wander around the dessert, admiring fences and whatnot, like John McCain does with his other pro-”Get em out and keep em out” sheriff friends? No idea, but I’m going to assume so, because John McCain just seems like a bad influence. And it’s fun to think that John McCain only hangs out with cops. He likes to ride in the cars.

Regardless, none of these claims of violence are true. Sure, some illegal Mexicans do commit crimes, some of them violent, but the border is actually a lot safer now than it was years ago, and not how Republicans make it out to be. POINT BEING: THE LAW IS JUST DEEPLY ROOTED IN FEAR OF BEING TAKEN OVER BY THE SPANISH LANGUAGE AND SOMBREROS.

[Washington Independent]

This is an incredible find. It’s also kind of incredible how long it took for this to pop up??? J.D. Hayworth, ultra conservative ex-radio hate broadcaster, is a man of small government! We all know this because in his race to steal John McCain’s senate seat — which is basically his own personal property — he’s been running all sorts of mean ads against him talking about how John McCain is pro-chips and salsa, pro-TARP, pro-stimulus, and anti-forcing kids to pray to Jesus in school. John McCain isn’t a real American.

So it was kind of funny to see this video of the same J.D. Hayworth mentioned above appearing in this infomercial to recommend turning over lots of your money (and you’re poor!) to some load of bullshit company for seminars on how to get Uncles Sam (this is how people from Arizona say “The Government”) to give you all the grants and everything you’ve ever wanted!

What a train wreck.

Can’t wait to hear the Hayworth campaign  spin this into “giving the taxpayers their money back” and totally leave out the fact that the whole program is a ponzi-pyramid-liefest scheme that charged people up to $1,000 to attend these seminars. Well, it was a good run!

[Dave Weigel]

Important military man, General Supreme Commander of United States World Occupational Forces David Patraeus, decided to just take a nap during a period of pointless verbal meandering by John McCain, which is not new, on whether we will be able to begin pulling out of Afghanistan by July of 2011, the end of the 10th year of our stay in this area!

He returned about 30 mins later but John McCain was so disturbed by the sight of a man in uniform showing signs of weakness, evidenced by that little jump, that he sent Patraeus home for a week.

[NYT]

Here’s Steve King, a Representative from Iowa, who gets to be on television all the time for being such a dingus. What are you up to today, Steve King? Oh, just claiming that Mexico wants to steal the southwest United States? Reasonable.

I say let em have at it if they really want it. What are you we gonna be missing out on? A couple balls of Saturday morning cartoon tumbleweed and John McCain, the oldest man in the United States.

[Media Matters]

John McCain is so mean! Look at him straight call J.D. Hayworth, the slightly crazier version of John McCain, an idiot in this ad that might or might not be on television in Arizona.

Yeah that is pretty stupid. I’ll give you this one. Why can’t you just not be stupid for a little while longer, J.D. Hayworth, and provide all of us with the funniest story of the decade: John McCain loses primary to batshit wingnut radio host.

[TPM]

There’s just no need for those last few seconds. You’re just trying to make everyone sick. “You’re one of us.” *vomits*

[Ben Smith via The Awl]

Just gonna mention one wingnut in particular though. The most hilarious, and oldest of all wingnuts. Ex-Maverick, John McCain! Wrinkles is a huge fan of randomly suspending constitutional rights (and basic human ones) to people who try to kill Americans. He even advocates doing such things now towards actual American citizens! Since Shahzad is a naturalized citizen and all, etc.

It would have been a serious mistake to have read the suspect in the attempted Times Square car bombing his Miranda rights, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Tuesday.

McCain, the ranking member of the Senate Armed Services Committee and a longtime leading Republican on national security issues, said he expected the suspect in the case could face charges that might warrant a death sentence if convicted.

“Obviously that would be a serious mistake…at least until we find out as much information we have,” McCain said during an appearance on “Imus in the Morning” when asked whether the suspect, 30-year-old Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen from Pakistan.

Yes, huge mistake, lives in jeopardy, etc. Why don’t we live in a nightmare police state, asks John McCain!

He thinks it would be better to find out all possible information before prosecuting him in a criminal court for trying to kill people without having first read the suspect his rights. That way all that information we learned from him can be completely disregarded in said court because of that huge breach in due process. Yay for John McCain’s robust knowledge of the law! Miranda Rights are just a big, hilarious practical joke!

P.S. This should only be done to brown people, by the way.

[The Hill]

This time, however, Republicans might be forced to stay up all night and wet their pants and give a REAL FILIBUSTER.  What will happen if Democrats keep John McCain awake for an entire night?  Will he start hitting people’s wives?  Probably just yell and wave his arms around.

[The Hill]

Here’s an ad by John McCain that clearly illustrates how much he is underestimating the craziness of the people who will vote in this primary between him and J.D. Hayworth.  These things matter to real people, John McCain.  Real, actual wingnuts in Arizona!  Why are you doing this to these citizens of the United States who only want confirmation that their President Obamar isn’t an illegal terrist.

[Wonkette]

Many of the GOP’s most faithful, the kind who vote in primaries despite 115-degree heat, tired long ago of McCain the Maverick, the man who had crossed the aisle to work with Democrats on issues like immigration reform, global warming, and restricting campaign contributions. “Maverick” is a mantle McCain no longer claims; in fact, he now denies he ever was one. “I never considered myself a maverick,” he told me. “I consider myself a person who serves the people of Arizona to the best of his abilities.”

Like getting broken up with via text message.  Hurts.

[Newsweek]

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), under fire from the right for not being tough enough on immigration in his Senate primary race, has called on Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano to dispatch National Guard troops to the U.S.-Mexico border.

John McCain, who has been defecating uncontrollably in his pants since being presented with a more batshit insane primary opponent, has had to amplify his old-and-crazy immensely.  Wrinkles would now like to see all of the American Military relocated to the Arizona border for to keep Mexicans out, my friends.

Of course he doesn’t ACTUALLY think this though.  Sometimes you just have to lie extra hard when it comes to out-crazy’ing someone as crazy as J.D. Hayworth.  My friends.

[TPM]

“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”

The well. It has been poisoned. How must we drink freedom juice (cough syrup) from this well  any longer when it has been so defiled by liberal feces and semen?

This comes as a shock to everyone, John McCain.

[The Hill]

Why did it take the motivation of running a campaign to release this ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS photograph of John McCain while he was getting ready to go see AVATAR on opening night?!  C’mon Hayworth, keep them coming!  Maybe do one where John McCain is wearing the TARP bill as a hat since he didn’t know what it was for or anything about it in general.  John McCain was tricked by Washington Liberals that TARP was a hat.

I could easily not move from my television and watch this all day. This is probably/for sure the best television that has ever been on television.

PS WHAT IS THAT WHEN HE LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA AND SMILES

Yeah, that one.  The one that fixed/contained the problem that John McCain SUSPENDED his campaign to fix/contain.  Well now, since he has an even more Teabaggery contender that’s probably going to whip his ass in the Arizona Senate primary, he has to come up with whatever reason to defend his vote since it was SUCH a horrible and wasteful piece of legislation and everyone knows this and common sense and less government spending and conservagasm UNGGH.

Disregard the fact that it needed to happen (refer to incest ridden future), conservatives are over that shit.

The reason he came up with is that he was MISLED.  Wrinkles didn’t know that all this money was going to these gigantic, evil, liberal BANKS!  Even though that’s exactly what the legislation was meant to do and had been explained to do by everyone including himself, The John McCain.

John McCain was duped by liberals and Satan.  John McCain was never for the TARP program.  You hear me/him?!  NEVER.

[TPM]

This is regarding Mr. McCain suspending his campaign during 2008 to “address the economy” which was in shambles.

McCain wanted a meeting at the White House, and the president felt he had no choice but to accommodate him.

I called Obama right away. He said that he would try to be as constructive as possible but that the Democrats were doing their part and I had better keep in touch with McCain. The president was scheduled to give a major speech that evening making the case for TARP, but news of McCain’s decision to suspend his campaign dominated the rest of the afternoon.

We’d devised TARP to save the financial system. Now it had become all about politics—presidential politics. I wondered what McCain could have been thinking. Calling a meeting like this when we didn’t have a deal was playing with dynamite.

So it’s meeting time at the White House and all the big kids are there including President Bush, VP Cheney, Congressional leaders, Hank Paulson and other economic advisers, Barack Obama, and John McCain, who had called for this meeting.

The president asked me to speak, and I once again described the dire conditions in the market and the need for emergency powers. When I finished, the president said he had a simple test for making a decision on this: “If Hank Paulson and Ben Bernanke say it’s going to work and help stabilize the financial system, we are for it.”

By protocol, the president turned to call on the speaker of the House. And when Nancy Pelosi spoke, it was clear the Democrats had done their homework and had planned a skillful response for McCain.

[...]Ms. Pelosi said that Obama would represent the Democrats. Then Obama sketched the broad outlines of the problem and stressed the need for immediate action. He said the Democrats had been working closely with me; Obama ran through the rough terms of the morning’s discussion on the Hill, then he mentioned the need for adjustments on oversight and executive compensation, as well as help for homeowners. He spoke without notes–much less a teleprompter–and spoke eloquently. “The Democrats will deliver the votes,” he asserted.

Now Obama and the Democrats were skillfully setting up the story line that McCain’s intervention had polarized the situation and that Republicans were walking away from an agreement. It was brilliant political theater that was about to degenerate into farce. Skipping protocol, the president turned to McCain to offer him a chance to respond: “I think it’s fair that I give you the chance to speak next.”

But McCain demurred. “I’ll wait my turn,” he said. It was an incredible moment, in every sense. This was supposed to be McCain’s meeting–He’d called it, not the President, who had simply accommodated the Republican candidate’s wishes. Now it looked as if McCain had no plan at all–his idea had been to suspend his campaign and summon us all to this meeting. It was not a strategy, it was a political gambit, and the Democrats had matched it with one of their own…

…Finally, raising his voice over the din, Obama said loudly, “I’d like to see what Senator McCain has to say, since we haven’t heard from him yet.”

The room went silent and all eyes shifted to McCain, who sat quietly in his chair, holding a single note card. He glanced at it quickly and proceeded to make a few general points… As he spoke, I could see Obama chuckling. McCain’s comments were anticlimactic, to say the least. His return to Washington was impulsive and risky, and I don’t think he had a plan in mind.

It got so ridiculous that Vice President Cheney started laughing. Frankly, I’d never seen anything like it before in politics or business—or in my fraternity days at Dartmouth, for that matter. Finally, the president just stood up and said: “Well, I’ve clearly lost control of this meeting. It’s over.”

And thus it’s been since; a disturbing lack of policy or any input whatsoever from McCain and his cronies.  But seriously, wow.  I almost feel bad for the old guy except I remember that he pulled this whole stunt to score a few political points for his bid at the Presidency.  What a joke.

[Daily Kos]