missionaccomplishedOBAMA’S ON THE TV, talking about Iraq, a ruinous wasteland with no laws or government. Weeee. So won’t you join me, in watching and making some jokes about the occasion? Which is the only way to do such things!

8:02 – Look at those drapes. Did Barry change the drapes with his socialist Oval Office remodeling scheme?? No?

8:04 – Oh, by the way, going with CNN for this because they have the most hilarious cable television news racket.

8:04 – DID YOU HEAR THAT? MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! The war’s over and everyone is coming home and Iraq is fine now.

8:06 – The Iraqi people will have a strong partner in the United States; and by strong partner he means that we will forever be the sole reason that the country doesn’t plunge into chaos at any given moment. (more…)

Good journalism.Rick Sanchez, a goof, was doing his show today, discussing, in what was probably an inane manner, the greatest non-mystery of our time: a lot of Americans have little knowledge about anything. I mean, some people responded in a poll last week and think the president is a muslin. So yeah, I guess Rick Sanchez was born in the south, and with being born in the south comes a quite hilarious vocabulary of cute sayings and words which more often than not have at least a tinge of racial slur-iness to them. Like “cotton-pickin’!” (more…)

An failed exercise in democracy.Oh look, POLITICO put together a comprehensive agenda that the GOP would like to accomplish if they win back the House this November. Finally, awesome! Now we can see all the great ideas Republicans have to turn the economy around, make health care more accessible and affordable, and literally ruin old people’s lives by taking away their Social Security. SPOILER ALERT: Nothing substantive is actually discussed in this article. All they want to do is issue subpoenas and investigate every trivial, microscopic non-issue of the Obama administration, and some things that already happen constantly amongst both parties, because it is politics. Grats America; all your problems will be swiftly taken care of starting January 2011. (more…)

orlytaitzConstitutional expert and dentist, Orly Taitz, whose only goal in life is to yell incoherently about how Barack Obama is probably a Kenyan born muslim tribesman, has had her appeal to the Supreme Court over whether she has to pay a $20,000 fine for filing “frivolous lawsuits” denied. (What’s up, Wicked Alliteration) Samuel Alito just would not have any of it, as he was the one that uttered, “Um.”

There is one more step she can take before she must leave this planet’s judicial system in search of someone who will listen to her. Like fellow aliens. She will take her case before an international court of human rights. Orly Taitz’s rights, as a Human, have clearly been violated by her not being able to overthrow a democratically elected president because she is a dingbat. (more…)

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I’m not sure if people who buy this book believe the stuff was actually written by Barack Obama or what…. Haha, who am I kidding? They do. Laura Ingraham would like to thank you all for the easiest millions of dollars she’s ever made.

[via Gawker TV]

Oh neat! They’re still making Madden football video games, and people apparently still buy them.

Oh yeah, and in this Madden game, once you win the Super Bowl in Franchise Dynasty Be-The-Player-Live-The-Game Mode you get to go on an uncanny trip to the White House and shake hands, in your imagination, with the President! Then you are kidnapped and forced into a re-education camp and all your money is stolen in the form of very low top marginal tax bracket.

There is no escaping the radicalness!

[SB Nation]

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Obama

Last weekend, President Obama and his family were on vacation in Maine, insulting white people. Just look at that photo of him enjoying a cold, creamy treat out in front of Black Power! Black Power! Black Power! Ice Cream. Oh, how much does Barack Obamar hate the white man.

And that about sums up the right-wing blog frenzy over President Obama eating some ice cream on vacation. The establishment, known as Mt. Desert Island Ice Cream, does indeed have a logo that resembles the black power symbol from the 60’s, which is apparently something you need to avoid entirely in the year 2010 if you’re the President of a country with a very small, but very loud, group of xenophobic morons. (more…)

It’s a Darn Tootin’ Deal

God, just let me look at it, Joe!

Surrounded by his closest congressional companions and the NBA’s top rebounder, Joe Biden, President Obama signs the Dodd-Frank financial regulatory bill into law.

[NYT]

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What a stud.It’s no secret that President Obama is cutest president the country’s ever had–excluding utter public sex image John F. Kennedy, who would bang super model celebrities. His boyish charm along with his natural habit of speaking in the suavest of prose make for one tempest of sexual vivacity. That’s why his Facebook fan page can be characterized thusly: photo by official White House photographer, Pete Souza, followed by lots of comments from men and women alike about how great his butt looks. (more…)

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Obama: A Big Deal in Japan

It can’t be unseen. (more…)

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